User Profile

My true identity is shrouded in mist and deception. If you approached me on the street you would think I was somebody else entirely. Complicating matters even further, if you did approach me on the street, we would chat politely for a minute, and then suddenly I would be gone. Where did I go? Who knows? You think I'm somebody else, remember? You're probably too busy going "Oh, God! Where did all this mist and deception come from?!" to think too hard about it anyway.

Experts have estimated that in normal, polite, everyday conversation, approximately 50% of everything I say is a straight-up bald-faced lie. The trick to interacting with me successfully may be to try to discern what I'm lying about at any given time, but odds are you'll give yourself an ulcer trying to do that - it's been a problem in the past. Just take everything I say with one or more grains of salt and you'll do fine.

It's even easier for me to lie to you via LJ. Detailed analysis has shown that over 90% of some entries is simply blatantly untrue. I do this because I am consistently amazed at the kind of stupid garbage I can write and actually get people to believe. So read with caution. Nothing is as it seems.